Katie Kahvo is a holistic nutritionist who specializes in fertility, and is also certified by Wow! Weight Loss and has completed a degree in Community Health Sciences from Brock University. Helping our community improve their health and wellness has always been her passion.
Episode 20:Julie Tupler Discusses Diastasis Recti
Sunit interviews Carly Daley who is a mom of two with one on the way. She is the founder and host of Modern Hippie Health and Wellness.
Her website is a resource for all things healthy living, and she has a product line now as well.
Carly and Sunit talk about how they got more into holistic living and how Carly got onto this path.
In this episode Sunit and Carly talk about:
-how pregnancy can be a catalyst for living a healthier lifestyle
-Carly’s post-partum depression journey and how she evolved from baby #1 to baby #2, with the specific things she did differently for a better experience with her second baby
-why it is important to be a more conscious consumer when it comes to our food and our environment, and the easy steps you can take to move in that direction
-how to make your kids a part of your healthy lifestyle
-why Carly started an eco-friendly skincare and product line
Check out the Licorice Soap” and the “Liquid Gold Rejuvenating Face Serum” Sunit mentions, along with all the other amazing products here:
https://modernhippieshop.com
Check out the whole website here:
You can also apply to be a brand ambassador on her website and get some products for free!
You can also click to listen to the interviews Sunit mentions with Diana Collins:(https://www.modernmommyprepschool.com/2017/02/28/episode-10-season-1-finale-sunit-interviews-diana-collins/) regarding PPD and Matt Duncan: (https://www.modernmommyprepschool.com/2017/04/25/episode-16upcycling-matt-duncan/) regarding being more eco conscious
https://www.facebook.com/groups/modernmommyprepschool/
Have you heard the buzz about “Montessori” but aren’t really sure what that means? Is it a parenting style? A type of school? Sunit interviews the founder and CEO of “Voila Montessori” and they discuss how to prepare your home and adapt your child’s environment for optimal success and growing great humans.
Montessori is an educational method that is based in the understanding that we all have an innate need to learn, and that children are capable of knowing what they need to learn and learning it.
The Montessori method allows children to learn on their own. Jeanne Marie thinks Montessori starts with conception…the womb, birth environment, and growing environment are all contributing to a child’s development.
Join Sunit and Jeanne Marie as they discuss:
-preparing and adapting your home for a new child and the four areas of your home you should focus on
-the importance of trusting that your child has their own timeline, and not comparing them to other children’s timelines
-how parents can be guides to their kids and not servants
-how to lessen your feelings of “so much to do” by encouraging and involving kids at every stage
-unschooling vs Montessori
-Montessori “approved” toys through all stages of early life
-what advantages the Montessori method provides for children
Learn more about Montessori, get resources and find out more about what Jeanne Marie does at:
Join the private fb community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/modernmommyprepschool/
Monica Froese is an author and business strategist, and in addition to having been at the WHITEHOUSE (listen to the episode for more info!), she has all sorts of cool things under her belt. She helps women start their own businesses in 45 days!
In this episode, Monica and Sunit talk about why blogging isn’t a business, unless it IS your business, and how to do it all (but not really). They talk about outsourcing and delegating and how to say “no”.
What do you enjoy doing that you can monetize, so you can actually afford to outsource? Monica does the math and tells us how swapping what you don’t love with what you do love can actually help you “buy back time” once you become a mom.
They talk about systems, streamlining, and preparing ahead to make life easier as a working mom.
They also get real about our “social calendars” these days and how to minimize all clutter in your life, physical, social and emotional.
They talk about getting on the same page as your partner and having a “contingency” plan for your new normal. Learn to say no…being selfish may not be easy, but it’s ok.
Working mom, stay at home mom or work at home moms, this episode is for you!
Give your family the gift of a happy healthy mom and go listen to this episode to be inspired!
Go to…
www.redefiningmom.com to see more!
www.redefiningmom.com/goals for a cool freebie!
In this episode, Sunit interviews Matt Duncan who is the author of “the Upcycled Toys Club” which is an activity book for inspiring children to be more eco aware. Matt is an outdoor experiential educator, author, and entrepreneur whose focus is on teaching families the importance of protecting and preserving our environment. Matt’s passion for the environment was sparked at a young age as a Boy Scout, and ever since he has always been fascinated by the wonders of nature, and is constantly on the lookout for new and innovative ways to instill the love of nature to his students and their families. His career as an educator with degrees in developmental psychology and a masters in education, as well as certifications in experiential education and permaculture, all came together as he created his latest project, The Upcycled Toys Club. Matt's passions include camping, rock climbing, and other activities that bring him closer to the earth, as well as spending time hanging out with, and helping to educate, really cool kids and helping them find ways to let their creativity shine!
Sunit and Matt discuss how this book came to be and what inspires him. They talk about how important it is to care for our planet and how easy it is to integrate this awareness into your children from a young age if you start early.
Take a listen to the show and see if you are inspired to implement some of the cool ideas they talk about, into your own life!
You can get the book on Amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/Upcycled-Toys-Club-Friendly-Recycling-ebook/dp/B01N9H1UKB
Check out the website for more info www.upcycledtoys.club
text “upcycle” to 444999 to get a “getting started” guide and certificate of membership.
To contribute to Matt’s upcoming project, you can email him at: matt@upcycledtoys.club
Sunit Interviews Joy MacTavish who is a holistic perinatal professional. She supports families before and after childbirth, is a certified lactation consultant, a baby wearing consultant and parenting coach.
Sunit talks about how she discovered EC. She was potty training her kids at 2 years old and her mom mentioned that she potty trained Sunit at 6 months old. This piqued Sunit’s interest so she looked into it further and realized that this is actually something that people do. Sunit just wants to introduce this to her listeners who may have never heard of this.
She talks about the fact that she just wanted to do this show so people can hear about it and decide if it’s right for them.
Joy says this practice goes back thousands of years. Diapering has increased the age of “potty independence”. There is nothing wrong with using diapers, but it is an alternative for people. Sunit reiterates that she wanted to bring awareness to this as being another one of those things that used to be normal before modern day conveniences, that is now unheard of. Diapers are normal now but they didn’t exist hundreds of years ago, just like many things we have now to think about when raising children. There is another way and Sunit just wants to bring it back into the spotlight. EC was something that was naturally done centuries ago, but has evolved to the point where diapering is normal.
Sunit asks Joy what are the benefits and disadvantages? Benefits-less reliance on diapers equals less expenses and less waste. Parents feel that they are more connected to their child’s cues.
Andrea Olson who started this movement says it can start at birth. Joy says they started at 3 weeks with her baby. She didn’t change any poopy diapers after 5 or 6 months. She couldn’t relate to fellow parents at daycare during the potty training phase because she didn’t really potty train. Her child was already transitioned. EC is birth to 18 months. Potty training is 18 months and older.
Sunit asks Joy to explain exactly what Elimination Communication means and how it actually looks. Joy says there are a variety of things that parents do. There are various ways of communicating and connecting with your child, observing cues, knowing and anticipating, etc. It requires you being very present and knowing your child’s signs and signals and keeping track of the baby’s activities and environment and time of day. There is not one right way to do it. It is what you make it. Some families do it only at certain times others do it 24/7, it can really be what you make it. No pressure. EC families graduate from diapers between 12-18 months. Traditional diapering is between 2-4.5 years. It has to fit into your routine, it does take a shift in energy.
Sunit says that she has mixed feeling about it because on the one hand she would have loved to have tried it but on the other hand, there is something to be said for handling baby stages step by step. You can take one thing at a time, like newborn stage, then sleep, then solids, then teething, then potty training. Thinking about EC from birth could feel very overwhelming to a new mom. But if there is an ambitious mom wanting to try it, it’s an option. She likes that it’s flexible though. If you are interested you can try it and make it work for their family. Sunit asks about how successful people are with this method, Joy says it depends on your expectations.
Some families are gung ho, others not so much. As long as you are ok with the progress, and don’t set an impossibly high bar, you will be happy with it. Doing EC at any level can cut down on diaper use and that alone is a great benefit.
Sunit says she just wants people to listen to this episode and be open to another way of doing things. Just being introduced to it might change how you approach things.
Sunit asks Joy for some tips to help a new or expecting mom to help avoid the overwhelm she may be feeling. Joy says mindfulness. Just breathing and being. Watching what is happening in your body and with your child. Slow down and look at what’s happening and indulge what you need. Tune out the noise and what is happening in the future and just focus on the present.
Sunit says just go with your gut. Just go back to your breath, your baby and yourself. Sunit asks about non coercive potty training. Joy says there is a lot of talk in parenting circles about potty training when the child is ready but in the EC world potty training is parent led not child led. The parent decides when the family is done with diapers, not the child. It’s gentle in the sense that it is concise and focused and no rewards or punishments. A week or two of focused time.
Sunit summarizes that it’s parent led, not stressful, and no rewards.
She asks Joy for books or resources.
Godiaperfree.com/joy
Soundbeginningsfamily.com
The Miracle Morning is a worldwide phenomenon and Lindsay is the author of one of the books in the series “the Miracle Morning for parents and families”. She is a wife and mom of two kids.
Lindsay talks about her “plan” for her life and how she envisioned motherhood. She talks about how everything went according to plan but once she was done having kids she felt like “is this happily ever after?”. She felt like she wasn’t fully satisfied living her dream. But she didn’t have any dreams past being a stay at home.
She talks about meeting Hal Elrod at a self-development conference and being moved by something he said. “The moment I accept responsibility for everything in my life is the moment I gain the power to change anything in my life”
She had been using her kids as an excuse not to follow her dreams. First it was sleeping through the night, then it was when they’re in school….It was always something that was holding her back.
She was inspired by Hal because his story is so powerful and he has overcome so much adversity so if he can do it she can. She became more purposeful about creating the life she wanted.
Sunit says that when she was reading the Miracle Morning she kept thinking she wasn’t sure if she could do this because she is not a morning person. Lindsay says she isn’t either and in the world of miracle morning she wakes up pretty late. Sunit asks her to give listeners a rundown of what Miracle Morning is all about.
Lindsay says it is basically the way you start your day. Hal did a bunch of research to find out what some of the most successful people in the world are doing in their lives first thing in the morning and he combined the most commonly mentioned things to create the life SAVERS.
Silence
Affirmations
Visualisation
Exercise
Reading
Scribing
Lindsay introduced the concept to her own family but decided to change it to accommodate her family preferences. They combined "silence" with "visualization" and called it "meditation", kept "affirmations" and "reading" the same, and changed "exercise" to "health" and "scribing" to "creativity". They also added an “S” for "service" because this is important to them in their family, to develop a heart for serving others.
Sunit says this is so important to understand that doing these things from early on will make it normal in your family. It is never too early to start thinking about these things.
Lindsay shares the story about how she met Hal at a conference she was speaking at and just shared with him how the Miracle Morning had changed her life and that of her kids and he was shocked that their family was doing this with their kids. After some back and forth and communication with each other, Hal asked Lindsay to write the next book in the series because he felt it was important to get this message out to parents. Through writing the book Lindsay learned that parent are their children’s greatest teachers, it all starts with them. Parents should understand and practice this themselves. Sunit says yes “start as you meant to go”, if you are practicing the habits and values you want to instill in your kids, they will grow up with it and it will come naturally to them.
Sunit mentions that the Miracle Morning advocates for people to get up an hour early to do their practice. How does this change with kids? Lindsay says she does not get up and hour before her kids. It’s usually only about 15 minutes before. She meditates and does her journaling. She also points out that her Miracle Morning is customizable-she meditates in bed and doesn’t do the SAVERS in that order. You can make it work for you.
Lindsay says meditation is not a new concept to kids, it seems new to us as adults who haven’t practiced it, but we make it into something harder than it actually it is. Sunit says meditation is really just anything that gets you focused in the present moment. They give tips on how to get older kids to meditate. Sunit says she heard that you can tell kids to focus on one object, and encourage them to explore all the physical aspects of it. Like how it might feel, look, taste, etc.
Lindsay says there are also simple ways to get them to focus on their breath. Placing stuffed toys on their belly, etc.
Sunit talks about the common responses people have to this type of thing. Limiting beliefs and using your kids as an excuse not to do stuff. Lindsay says kids can learn anything that we want them to learn. And that THEY want to learn. When children are ready, they I’ll learn. An example is reading. People think you have to teach your child to read, but in fact, when they are ready, they will learn, as long as you give them the opportunity. Change your mindset.
You’ll never truly be ready or feel you have time. If that is your mindset it will never happen. Say yes and figure it out later. Start before you’re ready.
Sunit asks Lindsay for tips to set our kids up for success.
They talk about “the family board meeting”. Spending one on one time with your children once a quarter. The kids get to pick the activity. Doing something that they choose and have one on one time with you is really special. Building memories and keeping relationships fresh is so important. Sunit recalls a point from the book about scheduling your family first and then schedule around that. Lindsay says you have to find what rhythm works for your family.
Sunit reiterates that the Miracle Morning can be whatever you want it to be. Although many people think they can’t get up earlier and end up loving it. She talks about being at the boss mom retreat and Pat Flynn showing up and saying he gets up at 430 in the morning to do his MM, even though he never used to be a morning person.
Sunit asks how to fit in the Miracle Morning during the different seasons of your life. Lindsay says to customize it. The point is to make your day better, so if it’s stressing you out that’s not good. Lindsay says it is a mindset shift, just start small. You can literally start with 6 minutes a day.
Sunit says her hope is to inspire a new generation of moms and dads who are better prepared and thinking ahead about what kinds of kids they want to raise. She wants them to be more mindful and purposeful in their parenting and starting to think about this stuff very early on is much more effective than waiting until you are bowled over with kids. She asks Lindsay what is her hope for the future. “To elevate the consciousness of humanity, one morning at a time”. Lindsay wants her kids to grow up being more mindful, more creative. Make healthy choices. Affirm their strengths and those of others. Always learning. Have a heart for service. All of the components of the miracle morning are important to her and this is her hope for the next generation and the world.
Sunit tests herself and recaps the SAVERS.
You can buy the book on Amazon here. Leaving a review on amazon or goodreads helps new readers find the book.
You can follow Lindsay at www.gratefulparent.com
Join the movement! Miracle Morning for Parents and Families on fb. https://www.facebook.com/groups/TMM4P/
If you are a TTC or pregnant mom, come Join Modern Mommy Prepschool on fb.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/modernmommyprepschool
Episode 13-Sunit and Angie Talk Meal Planning
(This Episode is sponsored by Modern Hippie Health and Wellness) www.modernhippiehw.com
Angie Trueblood is a meal planning strategist and writer. She spends her time helping other mamas simplify dinner in an effort to create more space for quality family time.
Angie talks about working with busy moms to help simplify dinner time and it was something that was born out of necessity for her own life as a mom. Mealtime used to be fun and became a chore when kiddos came into the picture. She had envisioned meal time being a time to reconnect so she set out to do that. Her fb group was founded with the desire to share with other moms and see what they were doing. She ended up loving being able to help women plan better and bring mealtime back to being family time. Her business is a culmination of all these things.
Sunit reminds listeners that paying attention to some of these desires that tug at you can end up becoming a business that you love, that allows you to pursue your dreams and stay home with your kids.
Angie says as busy moms we are making hundreds of decisions a day, so planning appropriately for mealtime can be something that takes one more thing off the table and alleviates stress. Sunit says planning is the key. Meal planning shifts through the different stages of life so being aware that it will flex is good, and when you know these changes will shift, you are better prepared.
They talk about “start as you mean to go” and why it is important to implement this strategy for meals also. Sunit asks what women should be thinking about and how it applies to all stages. Angie says it’s important to come up with a system BEFORE baby comes along. Put in the hard work NOW while you’re pregnant. Coming up with a list of meals that take less than 30 minutes that provide you with a starting point is key.
Angie refers to kids who are more “opinionated” in their eating and sees many moms catering to all the different preferences in the home as kids get older. There is not enough time for a mom to cater to everyone, so know ahead of time what your plan is and stick to it. Parents are often accommodating their children from pureed to solid food and bending over backwards to appease their kids, and it can result in stressful mealtimes and separate mealtimes for parents and kids. It doesn’t need to be this way. Kids can eat what parents eat from a young age and always making mealtime family time will start you off on the right foot.
Sunit refers to “Baby Led Weaning”, the book which encourages starting kids on true solids instead of purees. This method helps children get exposed to different textures and flavors of food as well as encourages them building their pincer grasp. They can control what they eat and best of all, it’s easy for mom. Sunit says that this way of introducing solids has led to good eaters who are not overly picky and a peaceful mealtime in her home. When you set the expectations, your children will learn to respect them. Moms need to give themselves a break. Your job is not to be a short order cook-it is simply to feed them and teach them healthy habits.
Snack foods and packaged foods can set kids up for failure because it is tough to transition from those to real food. Start as you mean to go. Ensure snacks are truly just small and healthy. Otherwise they don’t really enjoy the next meal.
Sunit refers to “French Kids Eat Everything”, the book that is written by a woman who had to move to France when her kids were young. She discovered why French kids are better eaters than Americans and that they don’t snack. Once Sunit read the book she cut out extra snacks and it has been great for her family.
There is no eating food on the go in France. Meals are to be enjoyed while you’re sitting down and when you are truly hungry. Angie refers to the book “It’s not about the Broccoli”. It’s about teaching kids good habits. Sunit agrees that thinking about all this ahead of time avoids rash decisions in the moment.
She talks about how having those discussions with kids from an early age has been a mainstay in their home. They have taught their kids that anything that grows outside in the ground or on trees is healthy food and everything else is treat food. She mentions the documentary “the Kids Menu”, (http://www.kidsmenumovie.com ) and how she learned to talk to her kids even better about making healthy choices. Asking them “what would Iron Man (or any superhero they admire) eat?” when they are making a choice, will almost always result in a healthier choice made from a rational decision making process rather than being told to choose the broccoli over the cookie. We underestimate kids.
Sunit asks Angie about tips for new and expecting moms to prepare for being too busy to cook.
Angie says the goal should be to never sit down and feel like you’re starting from zero. Angie says freezer meals are gold. Create base food that is easily added to. A chicken that can be split up and seasoned differently can be frozen for different meals on different nights. Pasta and instant brown rice can be a great starter for that chicken. Frozen shrimp can be a lifesaver.
Sunit adds two points: ask for gift cards to restaurants that deliver instead of baby gifts, and also anything that can be made in muffin tins in batches makes a great freezer meal to make ahead. Also, there are great meat substitutes that you should keep stocked in your pantry, black beans, quinoa, mushrooms, for a hearty meal if you don’t have time to defrost meat.
Angie says you should always have a steady grocery list of must haves for your pantry so grocery shopping is easy. Also, always cook more than you plan to eat, and be creative with the leftovers. Shortcuts are key!
Now is also a good time to think ahead about what parts of your life are going to change with a baby…like grocery shopping. Who can help with this and can you order online?
Angie makes a good point that when you are actually grocery shopping you end up seeing and buying things not on your list and you spend more than the delivery charge of having things delivered!
Sunit says to start setting up your tribe. Ask for help, and if you aren’t expecting, look at your pregnant friends who might need you, and make food for them and just give it to them to freeze.
Sunit asks Angie what her vision and hope for our future is. Angie says she wants a world where we get back to valuing and having, quality time with our family. She wants to see families cutting out the “busy” and being more intentional with their time. Mealtime gets lost in the busy-ness and she wants to see it brought back. Sunit says to sit down and really enjoy your meal. Cut out the excess, don’t make it busy, we can all make our lives less busy. It is a choice.
You can find Angie at www.mealplanningmama.com.
Join the fb group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/mealplanningjunkies/
Click here for Angie’s special offer for our listener:
In this episode, Sunit talks to her 5 year old boys about how life is going so far, what their plans are for the future, and tips they have for new and expecting moms. It's a light and fun kick off to the second season!
Sunit quickly recaps season 1 and shares what has changed for Season 2.
Diana is a mom of two girls who lost her best friend to suicide. Her friend suffered from PPD and Diana also ended up with PPD. Diana talks about how her friend’s death shaped her own experience with PPD and her journey over the last 7 months.
Diana says that her friend struggled as a new mom whose baby had health issues, but she didn’t really talk about it much. She ended up becoming addicted to prescription medication. Diana was 8 months pregnant when her friend died. It kick started her own struggle with PPD once her baby was born.
Diana gets very raw about feeling suicidal and knowing where her husband kept his gun. She attempted suicide despite being in therapy and was immediately referred to a specialist. She had another attack after which she ended up in the Psych ward. That was a turning point for her to share her story with the world.
She shares that she recently quit her job and has decided to pursue launching her own podcast called “Always with Me”. She says that today-7 months later, she feels empowered. She has a purpose. She didn’t lose herself when she became a mom, because she hasn’t even found herself yet. Now she feels that she can really follow her life’s purpose which is to help other women.
Sunit talks about what the “self” really means and how that’s why this is important to connect with BEFORE your baby comes. Diana confirms that she was still searching for her SELF before becoming a mom and she feels that if she would have built a foundation before-hand she may not have been as likely to succumb to the overwhelm.
Sunit asks Diana why she didn’t reach out for help-even when she was living with her inlaws. Diana says she didn’t want to be a burden and even though people offered help she didn’t think they meant it. It took her time to realize that when people offer help, they really mean it.
She tells a story about a time when she needed help and went to facebook to ask for help.
Sunit asks if there is something Diana thinks she could have done differently to prevent the overwhelm. Diana says expect the unexpected. She couldn’t have controlled Sabrina’s death but she didn’t prepare for an unexpected c-section and all that came with it. Sunit agrees that although being prepared is the best way to avoid overwhelm and that’s what modern mommy prepschool is all about, there is still something to be said for knowing that things beyond your control can happen. Joining communities and mommy groups now so that you have a place to go for support. The idea of a “village” is so foreign and we are all so isolated, so purposely setting that up before hand can really add a lot to your life as a mom. Sunit encourages women to start a community if they can’t find one.
Sunit asks if there is one woman listening right now who is in the depths of despair-what would Diana tell her? Diana says “you matter”. Diana wants women to know that they are not alone. Diana gets emotional and wants that woman to know she has a purpose.
Both Diana and Sunit encourage this woman to get help. Diana says that when you are in the moment and you are desperate-call the suicide hotline. You will feel heard in the moment.
Sunit asks Diana what she does for her SELF and how she maintains it. Diana says she loves to craft and has an etsy shop where she sells her stuff. She told her husband she needs time to craft and he supports her so she can do that. Babies are time consuming but find time to do what you love to do. Sunit says that even though some people are averse to the term “sleep training” she feels that having a reliable sleep schedule allows you time to look forward to doing these things you love.
Diana’s Etsy shop is “this RAD cottage”-you can find baby accessories and nursery décor and mens tshirts.
Her podcast and website is www.alwayswithme.com. Her podcast will be a place for women to come and know they are not alone. A place to be inspired and feel comforted. The struggles and the joys of motherhood-a place to feel like you can relate.
Facebook group: “Always with me”.
Sunit ends by saying “sharing is caring”-you could save a life by sharing this episode. If you are someone who doesn’t understand PPD-open your eyes wider, pay more attention to new moms and reach out. Diana says that yes, sometimes you don’t need to physically have someone there, you just need to be heard. Sunit encourages moms like her who haven’t experienced PPD to reach out to those who might be. She encourages pregnant moms to surround themselves with community and prepare well, and women who might be going through PPD-please reach out for help.
Lesley Yadon is a coach for new moms who are struggling with their motherhood journey. She believes that every mother already has and already is exactly what she needs, to be to mother her baby. She has a Masters degree in Counselling and helps mothers create a more confident motherhood journey.
Sunit says she really wants to help women be more in tune with themselves so they don’t end up losing themselves so she really thinks they are aligned.
Lesley says the birth of her son was the catalyst for the journey she would go on. She struggled with motherhood and tried to use her education and knowledge to help her through this place.
She decided that moms should not have to do this anymore. She started the Momma’s transforming journey which is a 6 session journey where she works with clients on the mind body connection and how to harness that and channel it to motherhood. She also talks about the spirit and creating rituals.
She describes a little bit about how she works with women from start to finish.
Lesley talks about how sometimes women just need a good cry. She says that our tears actually contain hormones. Our body is physically eliminating hormones that are making us feel threatened and scared.
Lesley is not a therapist but her work is really aligned with those that may be struggling with PPD or anxiety and may be needing the help of a professional.
Sunit says sometimes we lose touch with ourselves when we become moms, even though you have had this innate mothering capacity your whole life. Sunit talks about how she found herself relying on books so much sometimes and she had to stop herself and remind herself to go with your gut. She asks Lesley to speak to this intuition that we have and what happens to it when we get pregnant. Why do we lose that? Why don’t we trust ourselves that we are as wise as we are? How can we get it back and be more confident as moms?
Lesley speaks to the fact that there is an unspoken message coming from society. She thinks we are hearing society say “we are not rational as we are” so we need help from all sorts of experts, including pediatricians, mother in laws, neighbors etc,,.. We are told “you must be PMS ing, women are emotional” etc. It makes you question yourself. We also have a natural tendency to look at others and wonder… Why do they look like they have it all figured out? It is especially hard when our baby is crying and we are sleep deprived.
Sunit agrees that we are receiving all these messages often even before we are pregnant. People telling you when you should start having kids, then how to be when you’re pregnant, and on and on. Sunit also says that the comparing to others is so easy with social media. Our parents didn’t seem to care what other people were doing with their kids. It’s ocmpleetely different today and its detrimental to us and our parenting. Lesley says it is also disconnecting. In our parents’ day and age our moms could help each other raise their kids. These days we don’t even know our neighbours’ names. We are getting more and more isolated in our parenting. Sunit says it is “less about community and more about competition”, there is so much judging and comparing. It doesn’t feel like a village anymore, it seems like it would be healthy not only for the mom but for also the kids.
Sunit asks Lesley about blessingways. Lesley says a blessingway is like a baby shower but it’s more about the mom. It’s a shower for the mom’s soul. It’s a place where you intentionally bring a small tribe of women together to help you transition emotionally and spiritually into motherhood. She references the book “Mother Rising” by Yann Cortlund Barb Lucke, Donna Miller Watelet. This is something that you would ask someone to plan for you, a one-time event. The mom only needs to show up and open her heart. Lesley lays out all the different components of the event, there is a ritual and a feasting. This is a place to talk about your fears and allow other women to support you. These women eventually become your tribe who will support you through the hard times that may come.
Sunit talks to Lesley about the fact that she struggled to get pregnant and that she lost touch with the fact that not everyone has the same joyful experience when they first find out they are pregnant. She asks Lesley what she would say to the woman who is listening and might not be elated.
Lesley says everyone is on their own journey. There is so much out there that says that being a a mom is supposed to be so joyful and it can be tough. She reminds women that it is ok to have the emotions you are having if they don’t line up with what you think you should be feeling. The sadness you may be feeling can fade, as you give it time to be there. Allow it to be there. Don’t look at others and ask “why can’t I be enjoying this experience”. This is punishing yourself. Don’t compare. Sunit says move through the pain instead of trying to push it aside. Feel the emotions you need to feel to get through them. Lesley uses the word “fierce” to describe how she had to be to get through what you need to get through.
Lesley hopes we can support each other as women and know that all our journeys look different.
Sunit asks Lesley for one piece of advice for a new or expecting mom. Lesley says her advice centers around connection. She encourages women to be intentional about connecting to their own heart, their own desires and dreams and always return to that core knowing. The other part of connection is having people you can connect with who will support you. Build your tribe. People who you love and trust. Sunit reminds everyone that being in touch with yourself is a big part of not losing yourself once you have kids. Connect with your heart and connect with yourself.
Sunit asks Lesley to share something about herself that she has held onto or reconnected with after becoming a mom. Lesley says her creativity. She loves writing and loves expressing herself through poetry.
You can find Lesley at www.lesleyyadon.com
She is “Lesley Yadon Coaching” on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.
Lesley created a special FREE guide for our listeners on how to create a Blessingway, available here:
Lilah is a branding designer and business mentor. Her and her husband have a business where they coach creative people to turn hobbies into businesses. Lilah married her hubby early in life and had kids early on as well. Motherhood was not what she expected. She always wanted to have something on the side and to be able to make money with her art skills.
She was a talented artist and her dad ran his own business so she had all the tools to go in the direction of graphic design. She started as a graphic designer but has now moved into the business of teaching others how to monetize their hobbies and passions-in the area of crafts.
Sunit asks Lilah to talk more about “wake to make” and how her and her husband coach people to make what they love and make money. Lilah says that with a little coaching, most people just take it and run with it. Sunit asks if Etsy is the way to monetize your craft but Lilah says there are other ways too. Online courses, you tube channels and tutorials, teaching people to do what you do is a huge market. You are not providing a product, you are teaching them how to make what you make. Moms are monetizing all sorts of things that they are good at that would provide value to someone else ie meal plans etc.
Lilah says you have to think about how you can monetize what you are innately good at and how you can sell it or teach it.
Lilah says that when something comes naturally to you, you don’t realize how valuable it is because you think everyone can do it. Sunit agrees that everyone has a special gift that others would pay to have or learn or to be walked through.
Sunit asks Lilah how she managed to level up even with kids. Lilah says she actually didn’t uplevel as quickly as she would have liked early on but she committed to just doing one thing every day to move her business forward. It cannot move as quickly as you want it to, but it will move if you are patient. And persistent. They talk about the communities and mentors that have inspired them, including Dana Malstaff and the Boss Mom group. Sunit talks about Marie Forleo and B School, and getting clear on and honing in on your ideal client and your brand. Figure out your target market and then take it one day at a time.
Sunit asks Lilah why it’s important to have a business and babies and has she thought about throwing in the towel and letting her husband take over. Lilah jokes that she has considered sending her children to boarding school, the business is the easy part. She loves her business and she loves helping people and their testimonials keep her going on tough days. She saves them and looks at them when she’s having a bad day. They talk about the beauty of having your own business and that if you really don’t feel like “businessing” you can take a day off.
Lilah gives tips for women who want to do something but are scared to. She mentions the book- “Loving the Little Years:Motherhood in the Trenches” by Rachel Jankovic. She talks about life on a Scale of 1 to 10. New things are always at a 10. 10 being unachievable. 1 is very achievable. So when you are a new mom, it feels like a 10. Once you start to get comfortable you move to a 1. But it’s always changing. It’s the same in business. You can do whatever you think you can’t do. It will go from a 10 to a 1 eventually.
Sunit asks Lilah, what is the first thing you should do if you have an idea for something. Or if you want to spur an idea for a side hustle or a business. If you want to do something but don’t know where to start –ask yourself what comes naturally to you that others say you are good at. Something you would love to do day in and day out. THAT is your ideal business. Then figure out how to monetize it and what your why is. Ask yourself why you want to help them, and why you want to do this. Your why will keep you going and continue to move you forward.
Sunit says her why is to create a new generation of moms who feel like they are better prepared and so solid in themselves that they don’t lose that. Happy moms raise happy kids and that’s the goal. Lilah says she has a passion for design and pretty things and an eye for making things better or more beautiful and she is passionate about doing that. She feels purposeless when she is not hustling. She feels called to pursue something outside of her children.
Sunit says if you are listening and motivated by this, EVERYBODY has a special gift in this world. Sunit says even the moms who live for their kids and love being with them 24/7 get lit up by having another purpose. She hopes the listeners walk away feeling inspired to find that. Lilah says you don’t have to be limited to motherhood. Let yourself dream, and it’s ok to want something else that is just yours and brings you joy. Think about your selfish why and your why that pulls at your heart and makes you want to make change. It doesn’t always have to be about making income if that’s not important to you.
They talk about how it’s great that their kids see them reaching for the stars and chasing their dreams.
Sunit asks Lilah for one piece of advice for a woman who wants to do more-Lilah says give yourself grace. You are in an emotional and hard time in your life-you are going to grow and change. Give yourself grace in this next season of your life. Sunit says it doesn’t have to be horrible, it’s going to be different-no matter how prepared you are, life will be different, but it can be, and is, an amazing thing. You will do things you never thought you could be capable of.
Lilah said whenever she feels like she can’t move forward she reminds herself of what she went through when she gave birth. It’s the hardest thing you can do. Sunit says women are strong creatures, and don’t let anyone tell you what you can and can’t do as a mom. You can do anything as a mom.
Sunit asks Lilah what she held onto from her pre-baby life that’s all about her and how she did it. Lilah said she has always been an artist and she was able to continually weave that into her life. Lilah says she kept motherhood very simple in the beginning. She didn’t have a ton of toys and baby equipment and clothes and excess so she didn’t have as much to clean or do as maybe others would. Her son was a good sleeper so she took that time to nurture the artist side of herself. She also had a big support system. It’s ok to put the baby down to do something for yourself. You can find Lilah and her hubby at
They also have a podcast! (checkout the website for more info!)
Search the “Wake to Make Tribe” on Facebook. It is for makers, artists, online business owners-anyone with a creative calling in their life.
Shelly is a Health and Performance Coach who believes moms can thrive in all areas of their life.
Focuses on moms who are juggling babies AND businesses. Has found that Health and performance are interrelated and takes a wholistic approach to health and covers everything when working with moms and moms to be including, mindset, self-care, and the big picture.
Newborn to elementary days are the most challenging times and those are typically the moms that need balance in their life.
Science proves that if you don’t take care of yourself, the way you show up for your kids will suffer. It’s important to model that for them. Sunit talks about her recent eye injury and how it reminded her that if you aren’t at 100% you can’t properly show up for your family. (you can’t pour from an empty cup).
Shelly says that the key to long term success with your health is to have automated habits which means you should adopt them as soon as possible (ie before babies come). It’s valuable to also model your health for your kids. Sunit asks about nutrition, fitness and well-being and how they all fit together. Shelly says the most important thing to do FIRST is to address your self-care and how you think about your body. It shouldn’t be about the number on the scale, it should be about making decisions on a strong foundation of how you think about yourself.
It’s a domino effect when you start to take better care of yourself, you are set up to take better care of everyone around you. Sunit asks for tips on “self care” and Shelly and Sunit both agree that the term self care is overused. It’s not all about bubble baths and trips to the spa. Shelly says you have to be anchored in what lights you up. Find what you love and DO THAT. THAT is self care and nail it down BEFORE you have babies. She often asks new moms what they love to do and they will say “I have no idea…. I’m in survival mode”.
Constantly celebrate yourself and each success you have. The small wins and one foot in front of the other is what leads to transformation.
Sunit reminds everyone that taking care of your SELF means finding your passion NOW. She asks Shelly to give tips to expecting moms that will help them get some solid habits in place NOW to anchor them after baby comes. Shelly says it’s all about baby steps so she doesn’t recommend making any sweeping changes. Everyone knows what they could do a little better. Pick the low hanging fruit, one thing you know you could get a quick win with, and do that. Once you master it, move on to the next area of your health. One thing at a time. Coaching is all about teasing out what people intuitively know already. You already know what you need.
Sunit reiterates that we have all the answers already even as new moms. We already know what kind of mom we want to be and what kinds of kids we want to raise, It sometimes helps for someone else to just ask the right questions.
She asks Shelly about the fad diets and women wanting to lose baby weight quickly. Shelly discourages anyone from doing cleanses and diets for the purpose of losing weight. Instead she would like to see women setting themselves up for a healthy lifestyle. You are perfect the way you are and as long as you are anchored and feeling whole as you are, you will settle back into the right weight when you are ready. Sunit also brings up the fact that fad diets could be depriving your body of the proper nutrients and calories for breastfeeding.
Ultimately, getting good habits going BEFORE you have a baby will make it easier for you to have something to stick to. Getting your partner involved in your desires for your health and making it a lifestyle for both of you, will allow him to help you hold on to the things you want to hold on to. Be anchored in your relationship. Have your partner on board and he will help you be more successful.
Sunit and Shelly talk about how as coaches they are not successful telling people WHAT to do. They want to encourage women to dig deep and figure out what motivates you and where you want to end up and then help you get there.
Sunit asks Shelly about one piece of advice to give to women for whom motherhood is in the near future. Shelly says “to love yourself healthy”. Everything you do for your health-do it out of love for your SELF. It will get you quicker results.
She asks Shelly something about her SELF that she has held onto and how she did it. Shelly says she has always been physically active and this was important to her to keep. She did get away from it for a bit but she has been able to reconnect with it. She also loves that her kids see her making activity a priority. Sunit asks how she makes time for this. Shelly said she always asks herself “what’s it going to cost me if I don’t do this”. She is reminded that it will affect her mood and how she shows up for her family. Then, she makes sure that it’s scheduled into her day like any other appointment. She makes it a priority. Sunit and Shelly talk about the fact that you don’t need too much time or equipment to make physical activity a priority. Shelly says that an accountability buddy can help you stay on top of things you want to stay on top of.
You can learn more at her blog at www.shellyrobinson.com
You can also join her FB community
https://www.facebook.com/groups/HealthyMamaHustle/, and surround yourself with like-minded moms.
Susie Parker is a certified Sleep Consultant and founder of Sleep Baby Love, Child Sleep Consulting.
Thinking about getting baby sleeping BEFORE baby comes prepares you for the reality that they are not naturally great sleepers. Acknowledging that it could be difficult, will help you deal with it more confidently, because at least you will expect it.
Exhausted parents need support. Sleep consultants change lives! Get help if you can’t see an end in sight.
Sunit says many people associate “sleep training” with crying it out. She asks Susie, what is the definitiom of sleep training. Susie says sleep training does NOT equal CRYING IT OUT! It means teaching independent skills.
Sleep training is just teaching your child independent skills. Call it whatever you want, but it can be sleep coaching, sleep helping. You are helping your child learn skills to fall asleep independently. There are many methods, and much gentler techniques to teach your baby these foundational skills.
Just cover the foundational skills-put baby down awake, don’t use props, put them down before they are overtired, pay attention to total daily sleep needs.
Sunit asks what can a woman being doing before baby comes to prepare. Susie says don’t over stress/overthink-every child is different. Do prepare, be aware, once they are born get to know their sleep personality!
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. -great first book on sleep-covers the why of sleep importance. Also gives total sleep needed by age. Susie says if you are going to read one book, read that one.
It’s very typical that newborns don’t know how to sleep. It’s natural that they are fussy initially. Babies do not come knowing how to sleep. They are supposed to be fussy and bad sleepers in the first 6-8 weeks. They need closeness, rocking etc in the first weeks.
Don’t let your baby cry too long in the early days. Some experts are now saying even 4 months is too early for sleep training, but when you are desparate, you want it to happen as early as possible. Talk to your pediatrician. Do what feels right to you but it’s never too late. Susie works with people who have kids all the way from babies to 6 and 7 years old.
Consistency is key. Whenever you are ready to be consistent-that’s when it’s time to start. That is the biggest component to addressing sleep challenges.
When you are ready, if you can’t go it alone, and know that you will be successful-get a sleep consultant. All the information on the internet can be overwhelming. Ask for help. There are sleep consultants everywhere!
Habits that are never too early to start:
Dissociate food and sleep. Do not nurse your baby to sleep! Feed baby while they are awake.
Do not rock to sleep.
Put baby down when they are drowsy but awake.
Use nap time as practice.
Swaddled! If baby doesn’t like swaddle, find something they DO like. Babies have a moro reflex until about 4 months, their arms flail and they can’t control this. Swaddling keeps them from being annoying to themselves! Temper this with swaddling.
Mimic their in utero environment-white noise machine mimics what they hear in the womb, is soothing, and also blocks out other noise.
Dark room or blackout shades if needed.
Sunit asks if we are setting babies up for a crutch if we do things like sound machines or blackout blinds?
Susie says Maybe- but the worst thing that can happen is they sleep well but need something. It’s not a big deal. Typically kids will outgrow white noise. Every “crutch” is different-blackout blinds may create more reliance on a really dark room but again, look at your life and assess how important this is to you.
Babies SHOULD be sleeping in their room/crib for the most restorative sleep. Napping on the go might be convenient in the short term but in the long term it’s not optimal for good sleep.
Babies who are good sleepers with good sleep habits are more amenable and flexible when the time comes to go on a trip.
Sunit asks what advice do you give to the mom who is very active and doesn’t want to put that on hold. Does she have to sacrifice that to create good sleep habits? Assess your child and go with what they need. Don’t be selfish. Put baby's sleep needs ahead of your own habits and activities and work around that.
No one can make you sleep train your child. You do what’s best for you. You will only be successful if you are in the driver’s seat. Understand your child and your life, prioritize, and do what’s required.
Susie and Sunit both agree that even now, even at preschool age, their kids will never be the ones that are up late every night-it’s special occasions only. Sunit says when you prioritize your child’s sleep early on, it always pays off. That is her experience with twins.
Dr Ferber (Ferber Method)-Solving your Child’s Sleep Problems-is very detailed if you like that
Kim West "The Sleep Lady Shuffle"-a gentle method and good for an older child (1 year and older)
Sometimes blogs are better than books!
www.babycentre.com is a great resource
Communities with birth boards-have babies with the same birth month so you can compare notes
One piece of advice Susie would give to a woman for whom motherhood is in the near future.
Don’t stress: create knowledge and foundation to be ahead of the game. Just listening to this podcast puts you ahead!
Studies show that confident parents have better sleepers. Babies pick up on uncertainty. Fake it til you make it. If you’re struggling-REACH OUT!!!
Sunit says she wants to inspire women to not lose themselves in motherhood. Having good sleepers allows her time to do things she still likes to do.
She asks Susie the one thing about her life that she loves that sleep training allowed her to keep. Susie says watching TV! Early bedtimes allow for tv time, time for nice quiet dinners, time with your husband etc.
Susie and Sunit talk about the real housewives and how addictive it is.
You can find Susie and her blog at www.sleepbabylove.com
“Sleeping Made Easy” is her FREE facebook community. Search for it on FB!
Samantha Munoz-author of the brand new parenting book “the Intentional Bookshelf”. She is an engineer who blogs at Addison Reads.
Sunit says that she is a connoisseur of parenting books and would never rave about this one if she didn’t love it.
She asks Sam why she wrote this book. Sam says dealt with a lot of overwhelm when she first became a mom. She was by herself raising her daughter in Japan away from family and friends and she didn’t know if she could do it. The idea of molding your child and having the responsibility of teaching them and growing them was too much. She realized that children’s books could help her parent. She realized they have important and valuable lessons to teach. They could help her teach core family values and other things beyond math and science. She decided to share with other parents. Sunit observes that Sam did not give a list of what books to buy but instead tells people what they need to take into consideration to create their personal bookshelf. Sunit parallels this to how she approaches her coaching of expecting moms. Sam says yes she purposely wanted to avoid that. Telling parents what they “should” do is doing the opposite of what she is trying to accomplish. It gives people anxiety when someone tells them what to do. You need to parent how YOU want to parent.
Sunit mentions that the book addresses all sorts of cool info about budgeting and book clubs and book boxes and that her own children’s bookshelf is NOT intentional. But it will be now! Sam says the main point of this book is to encourage parents to utilize books to help them parent and also in the book there is a worksheet that helps parents plan their bookshelf. Have goals for your bookshelf. Sit down and talk about it with your spouse.
Sunit agrees that you need to plan ahead with your partner on how you will parent and what kind of kids you will raise and this can help you guide your bookshelf.
What is a good place to start when it comes to books for your baby? Sam says board books are the best place to start for babies. New and expecting moms should start with board books.
Some of Sam’s favorites are by a company called Baby Lit. They have a series of books inspired by classic literature. That is a great place to start.
“Dear Zoo” by Rod Campbell
“Cheeky Monkey” –a story about honesty that comes with a little stuffy monkey. Great for incorporating values early on. Sunit reminds everyone that it’s never too early to start reading to the littles. Books are a great way to communicate with your child from Day 1.
Sunit asks Sam why she thinks parents should have “the intentional bookshelf”. Sam says even just having this book on her nightstand reminds her that she has a plan for her parenting and that she is incorporating what she wants as a parent into her child’s life. It makes her feel more at peace. Sunit and Sam talk about the fact there is so much pressure and stress to raise kids with the right values-parenting can be made easier with this book!
Sam gives her one piece of advice for new and expecting moms: Sam says-RELAX. Trust your instincts and what you know you want to be as a parent. Everyone has an opinion. Remember what YOU want to do and what your purpose is, and what you have in your mind and your spouse’s mind. Be clear on that, nothing else matters. Sam took too much advice and stressed about everything. And it hurt her, she wishes she hadn’t taken so much advice.
Sunit asks Sam to share something about her SELF that she has held onto outside of her role as a mom. Sam says that she loves to write and her blog really helped her get focused and clear on what she loves, and she has come full circle and been able to go back to being an engineer. Get clear on what you want. We CAN be amazing moms without having to let anything go. Hold onto some piece of you and embrace it. Sam says you feel like the perfect parent until someone reminds you that you’re not. Don’t compare just be laser focused on what YOUR goals are for parenting.
Sam blogs (and you can also find the book) at:
Not yet possible to walk into a bookstore and buy the book, but you can order thru her website or on Amazon as a paperback and also Kindle.
Kendra Hennessy-mom coach and strategist at “Mother like a Boss”
Helps women become home maker-ish and focuses on mindset and strategy to get moms organized.
Deeper issues often come into play when looking at a clean and organized household
We are all “homemakers!”. Kendra helps moms DO IT all and ENJOY it all.
Works one on one with moms over the course of a month. Assesses each woman's unique “issues” separately. Does everything from helping women get the toy room uncluttered to helping create meal planning and digging deep into childhood issues that may be contributing to current situation.
Motherhood doesn’t have to be frazzled. Motherhood can be kept simple and stress free with the right strategies and systems in place-Kendra can figure out where is the breakdown in systems in your life. Motherhood CAN be stress and frazzle free.
Systems help you become more calm, more collected. No more playing catch up from the day before.
Sunit and Kendra talk about perfection in motherhood-you CAN be a perfect mom as long as you stop comparing yourself to others. Perfect is whatever you want it to be, decide whats important to you and then do it.
Perfectionism gets a weird “rap”. There are contradicting sayings out there. "Nobody’s perfect". But "practice makes perfect". No wonder moms are confused and overwhelmed. Perfection is in the eye of the beholder. Avoid comparing yourself to others like THE PLAGUE.
Kendra and Sunit say, before your baby is born, decide how you want your life to look and what you are willing to do to get there! Overwhelm is caused by wanting something but not wiling to work to get there. If you want a “martha stewart” perfect home..you can have it. You have to work for it. Do what gives you joy. "There are as many ways to mom, as moms in the world”. Change your expectations and progress and evolve as a mom. That’s perfect too! Do not use perfectionism as a coping mechanism OR a defense mechanism. Women try to DEFEND the fact they’re not living a perfect life. Deep rooted issues in your childhood can cause your issues with “perfectionism” now. Ie)all or nothing. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. It can be whatever you want it to be.
Sunit talks about the fact that she didn’t even baby proof because she likes her living space to be clutter free and clear. She asks Kendra if everyone thrives in a cleared out space or if everyone is different. Kendra says that even people who think they love ALL THE THINGS don’t realize how much they will actually benefit from de cluttering until they do it. Clutter in your mind is affected by physical clutter in your life. From her experience, Kendra sees that for the vast majority of people, having less clutter-the more peaceful your life tends to be and the less stressed you are.
Doing it yourself is better than having someone do it for you. It’s best to learn the system and do it right the first time to avoid Boomerang clutter! (clutter that comes back).
Kendra’s biggest tip:Have a home for everything. (Homelessness is the best friend of clutter because then it requires a temporary space). Then you won’t have to worry about losing stuff or random things cluttering your space.
For new moms:it’s so tempting to want all the things and cute baby knick knacks but it’s dangerous because it can take over your home. Ask a veteran mom “what did you actually use?” so that you are not just buying random stuff.
Have stations in different parts of your house so you always have supplies in the areas you’re using them (i.e. a diaper change station on every floor-this can also avoid overwhelm).
Take care of YOURSELF whether you had a baby yesterday or 15 years ago. Be #1. When you are not at 100% you can’t give your best to your family. Throw away the guilt over taking care of you. It’s ok to be #1. Your kids will be better for it.
Sunit says that’s why she started this podcast is to encourage women to start thinking about this before babies come.
Sunit recommends the book “How to have your Second child first”-by Kerry Colburn & Rob Sorenson
Kendra's one piece of advice: Be really true to yourself. think of what values you want to install in your kids. Not what you saw on pinterest or what your neighbours are doing. And then be whatever kind of mom YOU want to be. Show up as YOUR best authentic self.
Kendra shares something about her SELF that she holds onto:she has not given up her radio and tv shows that she loves. She knew she didn’t want to give them up because she would feel deprived. She also gets her hair done every 4 weeks without fail. She decided what’s important to her and stays true to that.
www.kendrahennessy.com -there is a free tutorial video on boomerang clutter!
The book Sunit references is "How to Have Your Second Child First" by Kerry Coburn and is available here.